I wish you were here.

I am old.
And fat.
And ugly.
And unfuckable.

They all fall in love with me,
because I am the smartest man they had ever met.

Hahaha.
Who am I kidding?

I am just a great manipulator,
that's all.

I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.

It's time to give up on you.

You bring nothing but pain,
with few colorful mornings.

Goodbye love.
I don't want you anymore.
I will not pursue you anymore.

You brought the worst in me.

And aren't you just a lie anyway?
A bandage,
a stinky wet bandage,
for eternal
inescapable
fears?

I don't care.

I wish you were here.

I wish we could make it work.

But you are not here.

And you don't really want me.

I don't care.

Pistachios are everywhere.
What the fuck is this new trend?
Pistachio flavor on everything!?
Have they run out of new fucking ideas?
Fucking pistachios.

The sound of waves.
The color of the sea.
The storm is coming.
People are waiting for it.

Fuck everything.
Fuck love.
And especially,
fuck pistachios.

everyone is full of shit.

there is no father,
there is no mother.

you are there now,
by yourself.

you make decisions now.

there is no one to save you.

make a decision to fuck me.

not as a transaction,
so I do things for you in return.

make love to me.
talk to me while you do it.

tell me about your demons,
when i am inside you.

let's pretend for a moment,
everything is alright.
and that we
are not going to
die.
and get old.

let's pretend.

pretending with you is so nice.

why do you want things so badly?

let's just fuck.
and get pizza.
and relax.
and read.

trusting.

in peace.

you do your things.

i do mine.

talk to me about your day,
while you fuck me.

i love listening to those stories then.

this is not for forever.

nothing can be.

or maybe god is?

how miserable is he?

i want to come inside you.

you are not the one.
you are slave to control.
like me.
you use this.
because you cannot be by yourself.
I am remedy?
Fuck you.

I am Buddha.
And slave to candy.

I love this life.

What an experience.

Thank you.

Ending will be dramatic.
Or I will just get an instant fatal head injury.

And then what?

Disappearing?

What would it feel like?

Nothingness?

Comedy.

It is.

And the most horrifying thing.

Desire for connection.
That's where the pain comes from?

How can a person just be
alright?

Or they can't
if they are not fucking a russian doll?

Am I going insane?

Fuck it.

Bring everything.
I am not afraid.

You are pussy.
You are.
God.
Eternal.
by himself.
pussy.
Bring it on,
I don't care.

I am trying to get control.

Over universe.

A losing game.

No,
fuck you.

You almost got me.

Some mother or father figure is all you need?
That's what you call love?

you love everyone or you love noone.

you are not the one,
but you are a beautiful adventure.

now it's obvious you are not the one.

now I think you might be.

We know very well
how to hurt each other.

Our demons dance together.
Then angels take the place.

Love exists.
In some moments.

I can hurt you.
You can hurt me.
We possess that power.
We use that power.

After the high,
there is low.

Addiction.
You are.
With an ass
That makes me moan inside.

Demons and angels.
Let's make peace.

How can you all loved me so much?
I am a loser.
Oh...
I know why.
My demons are stronger than yours.