“you are everything. you are my existence. all i want is another moment with you. another hit. you are my drug. i am experiencing withdrawals. fuck you. why the fuck did i approach you at that bar? you are a pure misery. alcohol multiplied. fuck you. i am a slave of yours. forever. but. i will get my revenge. one day you will love me. and then i will leave. i cannot wait to get my revenge. i cannot wait to hurt you. your pain will be my sugar.”
“The most fucked up ones are the ones who are the most compassionate it seems. They are the ones who appreciate the sunset, they are the ones who do not want babies to grow up, because they know what is awaiting them. Their souls are destined to cry. They are the necessary force that reminds others of the magic of it all. Appreciation comes from deep pain. Or am I just justifying my existence desperately trying to find meaning in it? Is it really all for nothing?”
“You do not need to punish yourself for playing.”
“I am so fucked up. Drunk and high. And I am looking at my sofa. How many girls where on it. How many girls where on top of me, how many sucked my cock, how many fucked me on it. I don't fucking know. Looks innocent. And now. I am all alone. They all left. They always leave. What's to come? Is this the end? Can I figure it out? Or am I about to die? A huge moth entered my flat. Retard, go back, I do not have what you need. Time for Radiohead.”
“Implode and then explode. And then implode again.”
Could it be, that all the evil of the world, stems from the sexual frustration? If reproduction is the goal, as suggested by evolutionary theory, is not satisfied, what happens then? More aggression, more desire for control (both at the individual and societal levels), sadism, masochism, depression. Natural inclination to reproduce with the best possible genes make up lots of bitter, angry, ready to destroy everything men and sad, depressed women (because only the top is sought out).
What is sexual frustration at its core? Feeling indignation for lack of options. Feeling you can do better than a current partner.
Ideas are organisms, and as material (whatever that might be) as us, or a glass, or frogs. Wouldn't then the same principles of evolution lead their growth? Survival of the fittest? Reproduction (that they do through us; we are just hosts)?
We do not see who controls the strings of a marionette. Is that marionette us? When do we start identifying with it? Can we escape it and transcend it? Or it is just a given that we are just observers of the movie and nothing more? Would any try to fight it be just a futile naive delusional attempt? Ideas are as alive as any other organism, any other animal? It's in us. Controlling. Am I losing it?
“Want to be in heaven? Go to hell.”
“People love or hate their suffering. They attach to it. They become it. And they do not want to let it go.”
“Once you lose the sense of future, that is when you start living.”