“We would kill ourselves if not for possibility of change.”
“We forget how to be children. Throw a snowball at your friend and laugh. Throw one more. And more.”
“The Ego tries to deceive the Superego to satisfy the ID.”
“Lies are the most powerful when the liar believes them.”
“It is the closest people that you might compete the most with.”
It sounds meaningful when you say your anxieties come from the fear of not fulfilling your potential. Maybe that is why you want to believe in it? What other possible explanations there might be? Do you know but you do not want to share? Do you know but maybe you do not want to admit it? Maybe you are trying to minimize the validity of your suffering because you do not believe in explanations of that suffering you tell yourself and others?
What do people want the most in life? Are you different? Do you want the same?
If everything is meaningless, why care about the fullfilment of oneself? Why care about the end result? Why care about the future? Success either happens or not, and then you die. But you have a journey though. This moment. Is there anything else?
Most importantly here, where does that anxiety come from? Quite fascinatingly, it comes first, the feelings, the anxieties, then we create hypotheses / explanations for it. You created one beautiful story about yourself. How true is it, K? What are you truly afraid of? Maybe it is very simplistic in your eyes and that is why you do not want to face it? Are you trying to be something more than human?
“As a man approaches his old age closer and closer, his inability to make sense of the world makes his despair greater and greater. Thus he often seeks to escape his inadequacy for comprehension through lies such as family, work, religion and the like. But the dark cloud follows him wherever he goes, no matter what direction he goes in, no matter how fast he goes.”
“It is the change we cannot handle. Yet after it occurs we eventually get used to it and it becomes a change we do not want to ever abandon.”
“Different modes of the brain structure lead to different perceptions. How can any of those be more real than others? Are dreams less real than this what we perceive as reality? Why? Chemicals are structured very differently in each mode, but why would one ever be "more real"?”