the idea of losing u breaks me... first time i feel this in years... have i lost u already? have u finally took your pink tinted glasses off? do u finally see what i am? too much? yes. i know. i need to keep pushing boundaries.
i want to visit ur hell. i want u to visit mine.
but it wont happen.
we r too damaged already.
“and suddenly, after months, i started to like you... out of nowhere... heartbreak for a lifetime is imminent.”
For women: take care of yourself, try to look as good as possible, shave your fucking legs (men are visual animals, deal with it), don't nag him, make him a sandwich, and fuck his brains out.
For men: take care of yourself, try to look as good as possible, buy her flowers and candy, listen to her stories, care about her feelings, and fuck her brains out.
For both: add spiciness to fucking, try different poses, play roles. Don't look at anything as a transaction, do it from love; love your partner, do things that make them happy.
It's that fucking simple to live happily ever after.
Sometimes I can't believe
I did what I did.
You were perfect
that whole day.
Noone made me feel this.
Noone made me see this.
It is irreversible,
there is no way back.
I regret it.
It had to happen.
What happens next?
I am not yours.
And you are not mine.
I am going insane.
I see more than before.
I feel so alive.
Have you fucked someone already?
I can't escape you.
I am escaping you.
It feels so bad.
It feels so good.
You are life's gift.
“Evoke emotions, and reason leaves the room. Evoke the emotion of injustice, and people will willingly go to war. Evoke fear, and mothers will send their sons to death. Just drink some good red wine, and fuck.”
A calm partner terrifies you. You do your best to evoke their demons. If they are losing their mind, get angry, jealous - that's the familiar territory. Your nervous system is used to it. It's done automatically, unconsciously. That is what a relationship is, for you; always has been.
The Buddha in me you saw at the beginning - your system couldn't handle it. That was making you unbalanced and insane. A glitch in the matrix. Everyone has their demons, right? You wanted to see mine - so desperately. Why? Calmness for you is a dangerous unfamiliar place. The Buddha must be hiding something. Or maybe, The Buddha cannot be controlled and managed, so he must be destroyed and replaced?
The fear of abandonment is so powerful that you must find a way to control them. Seduce them, and afterwards, find their weaknesses, learn how to activate their wounds - something that you can use to make sure they never leave. But that's exactly what makes them leave. Generational demons. Projective identification.
Are all men the same pieces of shit? How much do you always try to prove that?
Are you a victim, or are you a perpetrator? Both?
You are Buddha too, my love. And everything around it.
“Do not run away from what you are. Be a perfect version of it.”
“Chickens, I want to apologize to you profusely. I have eaten so many of you. I am one of the reasons you have endured such suffering. You are tasty. But I am very sorry.”