“Stop being such a weak pathetic beast underserving of consciousness and life. Fuck you and fuck your ego, and your fucking stupid story you created about yourself.”
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the way you looked at me
will haunt me for the rest of my life.

you,
your eyes,
that i will never see again,
are ingrained in my being,
forever.

i am your slave.

that last kiss,
that last gaze,
is my being.
i am nothing more than it.

i will forever be your slave.
there is nothing i want from my life
but just to fuck you.
i am your slave.
i do not care about death.
i do not care about anything.
i only care about fucking you.
i am your slave.
fuck you.
i hate you.
i am your slave.
fuck you.
fuck you.
i am your slave.
fuck you.
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“Find the origin of the obsession and then, most importantly, try to discover the meaning of it.”
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“Reason and feelings are in a symbiotic relationship. They listen to each other. They both influence each other.”
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“To elicit the start of change present the problem in a way that can be viewed from a detached state. Present it as your problem and act it out, or tell them to imagine someone else having the same issue and what advice they would give in that case.”
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u forgot me!
oh no!

i started going to boxing.

i went to therapy.
but im too smart for that,

u know it,
im so smaaaahrt.

u forgot me!

how could u?!

oh my!!

u r actually in love with this guy.

god damn!

can i be the ring bearer?
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you are cute with your glasses on.
it was the first time i saw you with glasses.

this park will now be called,
the park
of Love.

where we sat one day.
had a heated discussion.

today i saw you there,
with your dog.

you did not see me.

was not sure whether to go to you.
i did not.

i walked around the park again.
hoping i would bump into you.

i did not.

i sat on the bench,
in that park.

waited.
maybe you would appear.

i finally left the park.

and then i saw you in the street.

once again.

you did not see me.

just an accident?

i will keep going to that park.

i will sit on the bench there.

i will wait.

we will meet.

it is not over.
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“Reality constructed by the mind and perceived by us feels, in some deep sense, as jail. We thrive to escape it, as if we had innate sense that there is something more real besides it.”
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“How can I ever know the cause of feelings if I am not the creator of them? You can take guesses but you can never be sure.”
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you are telling yourself and others that your happiness is caused by the intellectual unfulfillment. nothing could be further from the truth. if you observe your actions, it becomes conspicuous: the story you like to tell yourself and others, and what you actually are, are in complete incongruence. you want and you actively seek what most women want: a family, a husband. your distress comes from the inability to admit that you are just an average human being. your superficially inflated ego holds you a hostage. you repeat great thinkers' thoughts without actually living it which is why you are not understanding it. it is a facade. a mask. because you are terrified of others' judgement. yes, a family, a husband would make you happier. yes, you are just average. drop the mask, not just for yourself, but drop the mask in front of everyone. if you do not, you are destined to continue to burn in the everlasting hell. it is time to shed the skin and become something else. it is time to commit a psychological suicide. you are better than what you are. i do not want to be disappointed in you anymore. it is time to become an individual and not merely a slave of others' judgement. if you do this, you have a slight chance of becoming something.
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