Control slipping.
Through my fingers.
Disappearing.
Like water.

I am so powerless.
I fight it.

I do not want to be with you.

I cannot be without you.

You are so cold.
Is that why you are able to control me?
I just want to have what I cannot?
Is that how simple I am?

I feel so much.
You made me feel so much.
I cannot stop fantasizing about you.

I just want you to be by my side.
Always.

I hate you.
I desire you.
So much.

I want to escape this hell.
But I cannot.
And I do not want.

I am alive.

I really really am alive.

On a happy train,
that I know will have a deadly crash.

Fuck it.

It has a nice view.