I am unable to love. I say I deeply long for it yet at the same I see clearly what is behind it, behind all those romantic talks. And it disgusts me. I am disgusted by what I am. Nothing more than just a delusional beast who is continuously manufacturing grandiose ideas about himself but acts in a simplistic beastly manner. I am nothing but a liar. An actor. A slave to control. A prisoner of desires, unable to escape. Forever stuck. Because I am too weak. I have no will power. I am just destined to obey. Pathetic.