You are scared of not having done it. You want to experience what it is like to be a father. What it is like to be a mother. What is it like to be a grandmother? A grandfather? These are the main forces that drive our behavior. What is it like to be that particular type (father / mother / son / james bond / victim / saviour / grandfather / grandmother etc.)? What is that driven by? An illusion that if people remember you, you survive somehow? But what is that driven by? What is consciousness? Maybe it is like a virus? But a lonely virus? It is scared that something will remain after death? What is the main force that actually drives us? Love? It all evolves. It all adapts. You are part of it. Like a bacteria in your body. You are a part of something unimaginably small and unimaginably huge. We are not scared of dying. We are scared of living forever. But what if the virus experienced everything it thinks it should have experienced? Does it have a will to continue? Why would it? That is why it fucks things up. If you were God, would you not fuck things up? Just for a fun of it? You have lived forever. You have seen it all. It is boring. However. Even if you are God. You still have a God.