“and in this country, the only country, the country i was born in, i feel different. like in high school. the confident madman has fallen asleep now. it always does, here. deepest insecurities, stemming from those times, times of upbringing, come back. only after a few drinks, the madman awakens. this place evokes what is closer to the core. walls upon the walls, and here, i am closest to the king. how well can i challenge him?”